看世界，原來是為了找自己

曾經一度，我非常羡慕那些可以旅行的人。
　　那時候我被諸多條件所縛，沒錢沒經驗、沒勇氣也沒有往外走的動力。每次聽別人講起外面的世界時，我滿眼羡慕之情。
　　再往後，我也開始一次次地買票，坐火車，查攻略，逛景點，拍照片，走過千山萬水。再奔波再累，走在路上，總體會不到疲憊，當時我覺得是因為身體好，後來想想，全是因為欣喜。
　　人在非常開心的狀態下，真的可以忘掉所有疲憊。
　　某天晚上，舍友聊到黃山時，我也想起了自己的黃山行，因為沒錢住山上的酒店，我和朋友在酒店大廳坐了一晚上。零下的溫度，我們哆哆嗦嗦靠著聊天扛過去了。韓國奇力片

　　第二天下山時，遇到了一個老外，他笑著和我打招呼：“Goodmorning（早上好）！”也不知道為什麼，一晚上的疲憊，滿心的委屈，就那樣過去了。我也回了一個笑臉。
　　還有一次，我早上五點一個人站在外面的廣場上，因為連續兩天沒有休息好，心裏難受得發慌。天空飄著雨，我目光呆滯，問自己：“是不是腦子進水了非要出來花錢受這個罪，一個人暖暖和和待在學校宿舍不好嗎？”最後還是把自己哄好了：出來走走，應該不是一件錯事。
法國綠騎士
必利吉

　　現在回想時，很多美景我已經快忘了，但和自己對話的場景我可能永生難忘。因為正是在那樣的情況下我發現了自己的吃苦能力，我學會了哄自己開心，觸摸到了體力極限的邊界，也慢慢看到了更真實的自己。
　　於是我覺察到：旅行不只是為了看那麼多風景，更重要的，是在行走的路上發現未知的自己。
　　有一段時間，我盲目地癡迷於讀書的數量，覺得數量越多效率越高，讀書不求甚解，再難再厚的書，跳著半天也就讀完了。再回憶時，其實自己全然不懂，但別人問起來，自己總會胡編亂造。
　　有意思嗎？沒什麼意思，但對於小孩子來講，稍微有些優越感便會擠出點意思。其實，我當時根本看不懂《百年孤獨》，看不懂《千面英雄》，不明白《挪威的森林》到底講的是什麼，也不知道《紅樓夢》到底好在何處。
　　我是看到新書了嗎？是，但也不是。
　　我想我是看到了全新的自己，一個在知識、閱歷、情感、經歷上和幾年前完全不同的自己，所以能透過很多文字看到悲傷、看到彷徨、看到荒誕，也看到平凡。

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